Some folks are justifiably concerned about the upcoming November Slow Dance Contest. We’ve never been to such a competition, much less hosted one. What makes us think everything will turn out ok?

Such a profound question could only be answered in the heavens above. In unsure moments, we’re reminded that the universe is a great slow dance, moving at once very fast and remarkably slow. One could argue, and we do.

We’ll also assert: it’s obvious the creator intended slow dancing. Those steps are programmed into our beings at the most fundamental level. So if you’re feeling worried, don’t; we were made do this. You’ll see.

If you need further calming, please consult Béla Tarr’s genius film sequence above. These are universal truths we’re talking about. Isn’t it all so clear?

Update: NEW PRIZE CATEGORY ADDED! The sun. First person to dance like the sun wins a prize.