Some folks are justifiably concerned about the upcoming November Slow Dance Contest. We’ve never been to such a competition, much less hosted one. What makes us think everything will turn out ok?

Such a profound question could only be answered in the heavens above. In unsure moments, we’re reminded that the universe is a great slow dance, moving at once very fast and remarkably slow. One could argue, and we do.

We’ll also assert: it’s obvious the creator intended slow dancing. Those steps are programmed into our beings at the most fundamental level. So if you’re feeling worried, don’t; we were made do this. You’ll see.

If you need further calming, please consult Béla Tarr’s genius film sequence above. These are universal truths we’re talking about. Isn’t it all so clear?

Update: NEW PRIZE CATEGORY ADDED! The sun. First person to dance like the sun wins a prize.

Someone posted this curiously soundtrack-less clip of the climax of Carlos Saura’s “Blood Wedding”:

Watch the dance that starts at 1:35. This sequence probably won Saura and company several international film awards. If you can imitate it successfully, you’ll win something special at the November 21 Slow Dancing Contest at Kaleidoscope Free Speech Zone (across from Boss Tycoon Smoke Shop) on 24th near Folsom.

No knives please.

Grand Lake is headlining and they’re great. So Awesome is playing a downtempo DJ set and it will also be great. It’s going to be a fun party. We’re serious about the prizes too.

The venue is Kaleidoscope Free Speech Zone in San Francisco (across the street from Boss Tycoon Smoke Shop) near 24th and Folsom. They have a sprung dance floor.

This is an ALL AGES Slow Dancing contest. Dance the slowest and win! Dance contest prize categories to include:
* The couples boxstep
* The robot
* The foxtrot
* The running man
* The headnod
* The chicken
* The sun
* The helicopter (chikopokopo)
* The time out (sit on floor, cross legged, while fidgeting or otherwise struggling visibly to not throw crayons at other contestants)
* The too fast for love (any or all of the above, but not slow; you will forfeit your stake in the competition, those are the rules!)

*Note:* We don’t technically know what foxtrot is or what it looks like – so what? If you do it slow enough, you stand a solid chance of winning.

Dancing fast or even normal speed = you lose. Don’t be a loser.

Bring $5 and please don’t be late. Doors are at 9PM crisp. Yowza! See you there.

Dear Fans of the Internet,

You are invited to watch the following internet video:



You’re also invited to visit http://www.myspace.com/deliveryispossible

If you get there soon enough you’ll find four newly released songs from the upcoming Delivery Is Possible album “Dearest Betty Bug”. Three of those songs have never before been available for public consumption. Consume them while you can!

Remember that not everyone cares enough to share this kind of special Delivery Is Possible material with you. Yes, a lot of people do, and it’s good that you count us with them. Thank you.

In recompense for your generosity and attention, we’ll commit to spend more time thinking about how to brighten our fine corner of the wide area network. As always, send your comments and suggestions to the webmaster.

The new release will be available on iTunes. When it is, we’ll post.

Signed,

Your diligent friends at DeliveryIsPossible.com

Sitting here in the studio listening to the newly mastered Delivery is Possible debut full length “Dearest Betty Bug”.

The lyrics and music are inspired by original letters, artwork, and photography of students of Herbert Hoover Highschool of Glendale, California. Somehow three Hoover High yearbooks (”The Scroll”) from years 1941, ‘42, and ‘43 turned up at a shop on Valencia St. Then soon after the books and their ghosts arrived in my studio. The kids from these books have been haunting me for a couple years now, and the songs are all dedicated to them. The story is loosely based on their stories. I hope you’ll get the songs so the kids can haunt you instead of me. Ha ha.

Thanks to all of the great San Francisco musicians who contributed.

Akos Kokai’s viola playing and arrangement ideas are everywhere. This recording wouldn’t have turned out without his great enthusiasm and clever parts. He appears on many tracks, playing viola, cello, and as lyricist on “Betty Bug Part 1″.

Adam Webb-Orenstein and his cello sounds were essential to the track “Good Luck in the Future”. Adam and I worked together for a good period in 2008. We created a lot of content, and though only a small portion of it appeared on this record, all of it was an important part of the process of creating this record.

My brother Jamie Osborne brought some architectural concepts and playing that helped tie many parts of the program together. He appears on several tracks, playing synths, guitar, and accordion. He and I have been making records and performing together for a long time. Check out Whitey on the Moon and The Overhead Lines.

Jennifer Faust sang flawlessly and helped improve the vocal mixes overall. She appears on the track “A Storybook Ending”. The poem she recites mid-song is adapted from an unidentified poet from New Jersey (that doesn’t sound true but it is). The poem came to our attention in an interesting book called _Pinelands Folklife_, Rutgers Univ Press, ‘87.

Lessley Anderson appears on the track titled “How Friends Are”. Lessley spent a few weeks with the books and invested a lot of time into writing lyrics for the song. This was a turning point for the project. She taught me some things about Betty that I hadn’t fully appreciated prior. Of course she sang beautifully too. Later, during mixing, she offered good clean ears and helped improve vocal treatments on a number of tracks.

Amanda Wixted appears on the song titled “Distances Are Nearer Now”. Amanda joined the band in early 2009 and brought a lot of creative energy. She put her heart into the project and we had a lot of fun working together.

Rebecca Bortman is brilliant and full of good ideas. She appears on the song “Let Yourself Go (Yeah)”. She came to the studio and quickly improvised an impressive amount of material.

John Kosim has been regularly rehearsing and performing with the band. He’s been a great source of musical ideas.

Greg Marasso was a helpful critic, sounding board and gave useful feedback on rough mixes.

Matt Lieber made a brief and important guest appearance on sax (on “Fiesta Queen”). He’s the 10th (!) artist on the project who was/is living within a mile of the studio.

Justin Weis at Trakworx shared some honest and influential editing ideas while mastering; and he gave the whole sound a warmth and presence that would have been impossible otherwise.

Thank you!

Dear bay area and beyond,

We’ve got a terrific show coming up at Amnesia (853 Valencia St., SF) in about two weeks. We’ve put together a set especially for this occasion so c’mon out and give her a listen.

Amnesia
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Doors @ 7:00

This will be our first public show with the great new lineup featuring Akos Kokai on viola, John Kosim on violin, and Amanda Wixted on vocals & keyboard.

There are many, many talented acts on this bill. Music will start sometime after 7:00 and expect 7 different sets throughout the night.

See you then!

Positive intentions re: general state of out of datedness here. Appreciate your patience.

Previously announced plans to release a record titled “macro-virus…etc” have been abandoned, remixed, or otherwise left in the past. A highly limited number of CD-R’s are in the exlusive hands of west coast afficionados. Some songs and some raw material from previous songs will be released in a much more entertaining format, a sort of concept album called “Dearest Betty Bug”. I think you’ll like it. Info about that release is being spread around the internet presently. More to follow here, in time.

Have also recently produced an album of instrumental hip hop and ambient electronica under the name “The Overhead Lines”. Will be mastered and released in near future. At some point there will be a web presence for that band. Until then, we’ll wait impatiently, you and me both, because we know when this one drops, heads will nod with enjoyment.

If you’re in San Francisco, go see the Disposable Film Festival this weekend. Opening night was great fun and the rest of their program is sure to be excellent.

There are countless other superb events happening around town this weekend. Your guess is as good as mine…

Final note: Phat Philly on 24th has won a closely fought competition for the best local french fries with their entry titled “waffle fries with cheddar beer sauce”. They have no chicken strips and you won’t even mind.

These days it’s important to listen only to music that makes you feel good. Time is short and I know that me personally I’ve got like no room in my life for audio content. There’s one part of my day when I need to listen to music and that’s when I need a psychological boost to run an extra mile on the treadmill during my lunch break.

There has never been anybody ever to compose music specifically for this purpose. Search iTunes and CDBaby for “extra mile on the treadmill” and you’ll see. The world needs this music now more than any other moment before in the history of people listening to high energy tunes in the gym.

If you’re like me, you’ve come to expect the world from the internet (for free). With that in mind, here are two handcrafted and loud songs to make the most of your next lunchtime trip to the gym:

Download: HRMY part ii
(windows users right click and “save as”, mac users option + click and “save to disk”)

Download: BTTR part ii
(windows users right click and “save as”, mac users option + click and “save to disk”)

Don’t let the track titles fool you, this isn’t any of that artsy experimental noise crap. If there were to be one word that captures the essence of this material, that word should be “achieve!”. You can do it. Don’t stop at 6.2 mph, go for 6.3 (or faster). Exclamation marks connote that faster is indeed an acceptable option. Check back soon for ringtones.

News:

I’m thankful for the fucking holidays and you better be too.

Nearly finished with a new body of work in the post-disco genre. Also on the verge of having last year’s “Macro-Virus-Executable” mastered and released in all it’s previously unheard glory. Did you know that I was wrong about the triple LP? I think I did, but I posted about it anyhow. It’s my blog, and as they say, if you don’t like it go git yer own.

It looks like the handy audio player application is broken. Oh well. The new post-disco tracks are going to make you happy, that’s a promise. Maybe they’ll be out in December. Maybe later.

Plus, you might have noticed that’s two (2) full length releases complete for 2008. There will be more to come in 2009 including:
* new record label
* sounds from other parts of the world
* as many guest musicians as Craigslist will reasonably afford

See you later then.

In the past month I’ve had chicken with fries at three different places. In the past 10 years I’ve had chicken with fries at three different places. They are (in order of historic relevance):

1.) Thee Parkside

2.) Oakland Coliseum

3.) Corporate nom du jour park where the SF Giants play

Oakland was better than SF. Thee Parkside was technically better than Oakland, with one exception, the variety of mustards, ketchup, and barbecue sauce at Oakland was the best. Parkside wins on taste, presentation, and of course price.

Regarding mustard; there’s nothing wrong with yellow mustard on chicken. Honey mustard sauce is a superior alternative. If you have the choice, choose the honey mustard. No disrespect to yellow mustard. We’ve been together and we’ll be together. And maybe this preference for honey mustard on chicken only holds for those of us who grew up in the golden age of chicken nuggets.

Regarding the show; it was good. Hanging out with the folks from Arcadio was great. The Provisionals and Arcadio played well. My performance went as well as I expected it to. Some parts worked. Had fun.

Macro-Virus-Executable Update: someone at my show last night mentioned having read this website. That was nice. Several people asked about the upcoming Delivery is Possible release titled “Macro-Virus-Executable”. That was also nice.

The deal with the record is that recording and mixing are done. There are at least 22 tracks that could make the final cut. I’ve been in contact with a few different mastering engineers and I’ll probably contact one or two more before making a decision.

Initially my plan was to release macro-virus-executable as a triple LP debut. I stand by the integrity of that plan. I’ve used a lot of analog gear in the recording and mixing and the intention has always been to release it on vinyl. The name refers to the three LP’s. Triple LP is obviously the right choice from an artistic perspective.

Triple LP is a challenge from a financial perspective. The only way I can figure to realize the triple LP vision is to start collecting pre-orders.

I’ll need a lot of them and I’ve been hesitant to even put the idea out there. Consider it out there. If it works, great. If not, what the hell, yellow mustard isn’t bad…

In the coming weeks I’ll set up an online store to manage orders. I’ll also set up one of those pledge drive style thermometers that will give constant updates on how close we are to the goal. I haven’t learned much about the record business – but trust me when I say – nothing moves units like a LIVE ACTION! data-driven thermometer graphic.